March Madness: Vote for the Evil Eight! March 28, 2008
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Just when you thought things couldn't get any crazier, the quest to find the cruelest college in the country has revved up a notch! All 16 of last week's contenders proved tough teams to beat, but only 8 could advance, and despite some powerful showings from Pittsburgh, KSU, Washington State, OSU, Purdue, Hopkins, Vanderbilt, and the University of Washington, only the nastiest can move forward ... so without further delay let's get down to narrowing the field even further as we prepare to put these vivisectors on the national stage in the Fatal Four next week!
Just like last week, I'll be highlighting what I consider to be the key matchup in this exciting tournament, and you can consult the cheat sheet to help determine who else to vote into the next round. Use the voting form or leave a comment to cast a vote for this week's Vilest Vivisectors in the Evil Eight!
Duke University vs. Texas A&M
Michael Platt, Duke Like 'em or hate 'em, Duke University always puts forward a strong team, and for the past decade, that's been largely due to the work of their MVP, Michael Platt, who drills metal screws into monkeys' skulls, pushes electrodes into their brains, and implants wire coils under their eyelids. A similar winning technique has been made popular by UConn's David Waitzman—another strong contender in this tournament, so if we're lucky, we may see a classic Big East/ACC showdown in the finals this year. The published results of Mr. Platt's cruel experiments include such timeless pieces of knowledge as the fact that one rhesus macaque monkey will often look in the same direction as another rhesus macaque monkey, so there's no question that Michael's earning his keep! To vote for Michael Platt, use the form or leave a comment below. |
Michelle Hook, Texas A&M Texas A&M might traditionally be the underdog in this matchup, but don't make the mistake of underestimating Michelle Hook of Texas A&M University's Department of Psychology. Her medium of choice is rats, and from the sounds of it, there's not much she hasn't done when it comes to slicing and dicing these animals. Michelle's preferred technique involves cutting up the animals' spinal cords, injecting them with chili pepper solution, pushing them into restraint tubes, and electroshocking their hind legs. Hook's world-beating conclusion speaks for itself: "These data suggest that peripheral inflammation, accompanying spinal cord injuries, might have an adverse effect on recovery." You heard it here first, folks: Giving electric shocks to torture victims might slow down their recovery time! To vote for Michelle Hook, use the form or leave a comment below. |
Use the dropdown menus to pick a winner!
- Ryan!
Comments
Smear campaigns are not as effective as actually producing something good. Please spend your money and hours on research, spreading facts, and conscientious lobbying, rather than gruesome descriptions aimed at vilification.
Posted by: Albert at May 2, 2008 2:40 AMhahahaha...I love how you people care more about animals that are suffering in labs than the millions of people around the globe who are suffering from war, famine, and disease.
Posted by: at May 6, 2008 2:20 AMpeta sucks
Posted by: at May 6, 2008 2:59 PMyou people are rediculous. Although some researchers may not treat their animals in a humane manner, I am sure that you have not done all of the necessary backround work to say that these people whom you are naming are in fact "murderers". It is common protocol in science to test on animals before humans, and that should ALWAYS be the case in the event that some sort of horrible side effect shows up. Would you rather have other people be tested on or a common lab rat? If you think that people should be tested on then you should be the first ones in line volunteering. I know for a fact that many of today's life saving drugs were tested on animals first, and we all know that you use these medicines too. Why don't you use your efforts more constructively and raise money to aid the people in Myanmar who were ravaged so recently by a killer cyclone instead of worrying about animals. Hundreds of thousands of HUMANS are at risk of serious infection and death and all that you care about is the "evil eight". get real and get a life.
Posted by: tom at May 8, 2008 11:21 AMhahahaha i like how you have to wait for approval to post on your blog too...wouldn't want anyone to know the truth now would we?
Posted by: tom at May 8, 2008 11:32 AMU guys seriously suck, they should do the lab tests on you guys
Posted by: yomomma at May 9, 2008 2:58 AMyou guys are just a bunch of angry hiipies who probably sit around a fake camp fire eating tofu and singing dumb hippy music like dave matthews. just forget about all this animal rights crap, people will always eat meat because it tastes good!!!
Posted by: freddy fred at May 10, 2008 9:32 PMhonestly, peta, vegetarians, and vegans everywhere are absolutely the most pretentious people on earth. get real.
Posted by: at May 18, 2008 5:10 AMWhy do any of you care that PETA is supporting animal rights instead of human rights? There are hundreds and hundreds of human rights charities and organizations, and few animal rights ones. Someone has to be looking out for animal cruelty. And what's the point of testing on animals first? These drugs are FOR humans, so why shouldn't they be tested on humans? Why should animals be tested when it's not even anything that will benefit them? Animals, and I know this will be shocking to you, were NOT put here on earth to be our personal lab rats. They feel pain like you and I, but unlike you and I, they will have a hard time connecting their pain to the greater good. If you want these drugs tested and people saved so badly, maybe YOU should step up and offer to be tested on.
Also, I am a vegetarian, but I am not "pretentious," as that last one claims. I feel that it is MY right to not eat animals, without YOUR judgment, and to not only not devour some animal that most likely suffered terribly its whole short life, but also to protect myself from the diseases running rampant in the cows slaughtered in inhumane and dirty conditions. One only need look at Hallmark Meat Company as just one of hundreds of examples of these dirty and disgusting conditions. I hope you like your E. Coli, kids.
yeah well look at the ecoli like this, when there is an outbreak all the vegetarians will die due to lack of immunity, we could all hope for such a day
Posted by: at May 21, 2008 4:17 PM"maybe YOU should step up and offer to be tested on"
Why should we? Your the one who wants to protect the animals from, so you should do it. I bet you would feel differently about it after that. I am not one of those people who doesn't respect vegetarians for the beliefs, and the fact that they have the self control to hold to their beliefs, but I do not respect organizations like this. Everyone is different, if we want to eat meat then let us, we won't stop you from eating vegetables. And the reason we do tests on animals is to protect human life. If a rat dies, its not going to go to heaven or hell, it doesn't have a soul, and it doesn't have family and friends that will miss it.
Posted by: at May 27, 2008 3:58 PMPost a comment
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EURGH! They're all a bunch of sickos!
Posted by: Little_Lotte at March 29, 2008 11:49 AM